Dapet dari milist :

Enemy at the Gates — Musuhe Wis Tekan Gapuro
Die Another Day — Modare Ojo Saiki
Die Hard — Matine Angel
Die Hard II — Matine Angel Tenan
Die Hard III With A Vengeance — Kowe Kok Ra Mati-Mati To?
Die Hard IV (Die) – Jan Tenanan, Arep Mati Kok Angel Tenan
Bad Boys — Bocah-Bocah Elek
Catwoman – Kucing Wedok
Man of Fire — Wong Lanang Kesumuken
No Way Back — Ora Iso Mulih (kesasar to?)
Just Married – Mantenan
Red Eye — Matane Abang (klilipan opo?)
Casino Royale – Togel Akeh Duite
The Hoax — Ngapusi
Harry Potter – Harry DodolPot
Lost in Space — Ilang Neng Awang-awang
X-Men — Wong Lanang Saru
X-Men 2 — Wong Lanang Saru Tenan
Cheaper by the Dozen — Tuku Selusin Luwih Murah
Paycheck — Kasbon
Independence Day — Pitulasan
There is Something About Marry — Meri Ono Apa-Apane
Silence of the Lamb — Wedhuse Mutung
All The Pretty Horses — Jarane Ayu-Ayu
Planet of the Apes — Planete Wong Apes
Gone in Sixty Second — Minggat Sakcepete
Original Sin — Dosa Tenanan
The Abyss — Entek-Entekan
Deja Vu — Pangling
Seabiscuit — Klethikan Neng Laut
Terminator — Terminal Montor
How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days — Piye Carane Megat Lanangan Mung 10 Dino
Lord Of The Ring — Pedagang Akik
Deep Impact — Ngantem Njero
Million Dollar Baby — Babi Regone Sayuto
Blackhawk Down — Manuk Ireng Kenek Bedhil
Saving Private Ryan — Ngelesi Privat Mas Ryan (pancene goblog tenan opo?)
Gone With The Wind — Wes Ewes Ewes, Bablas Angine
Because I Said So — Dikandani Kok Ngeyel Temen Sih
Superman — Gatot Koco

dapet dari milis e-ketawa (by Nugroho , Eko Sasmito)

Alkisah di sebuah perusahaan besar di kawasan Keprabon, tengah melakukan beberapa tes wawancara untuk “*tidak*” menerima calon karyawan baru, tentu saja salah satu prasyaratnya adalah harus berbahasa EJD (Ejaan Jawa yg nDak sempurna)..

(Bagi yang tidak memahaminya nggih nyuwun sewu … Boso Jawi …Meniko)

G : Kowe nduwe omah opo ora…..?
A : dereng….
G : Wah kowe ora iso ketompo nang kene
a : Lho kok ngaten…… ..?
G : Mengko kowe mesthi ngajukne utang nang perusahaan.
a : Ah.. mboten kok, sak janipun tiyang sepuh kulo niku sampun sugih.
G : Yo malah ora ketompo
a : Lho kok ngaten…..?
G : Mengko kowe kerjo mung nggo hiburan, nongkrang nongkrong ae.
(more…)

All out of love (Air Supply):
………… …Tresna kebablasan

Goodbye (Air Supply):
………… .. Minggat

Lost in love (Air Supply):
………… .. Wes gak tresno

Making love out of nothing at all (Air Supply):
………… .. Getun (mari maen gak dibayar)

Grease (Bee Gees) :
………… .. Kinclong

How deep is your love (Bee Gees):
………… .. Duwekmu kok jero temenan

I started a joke (Bee Gees):
………… .. mulai ndagel

In the morning (Bee Gees):
………… .. Isuk utuk2

Saturday night fever (Bee Gees):
………… .. Nggreges tapi nekat ngapel

Summertime (jazz) :
………… .. Loro Panas

Stayin’ alive (Bee Gees) :
………… .. Gak iso mati

Words (Bee Gees) :
………… .. Nggedabrus

More than words (Extreme) :
………… .. Nggedabrus pol

Highway star (Deep Purple) :
………… .. Jago trek-trek’an

Smoke on the water (Deep Purple) :
………… .. Umob (album ‘Nggodog Wedang’)

Soldier of fortune (Deep Purple) :
………… .. Prajurit raiso mati

Mama (Genesis) :
………… .. Mak’e

Another day in paradise (Phill Collins) :
………… .. Suk’mben ing swargo

Againts all odds (Phill Collins):
………… .. Ongko Ganep

All night long (Lionel Richie) :
………… .. Lek-lek’an(ngebyar)

Still (Lionel Richie) :
………… .. Isih (durung entek)

Stuck on you (Lionel Richie) :
………… .. Kecanthol

Truly (Lionel Richie) :
………… .. Tenan’e

Frozen (Madonna) :
………… .. Njendel

Like a virgin (Madonna) :
………… .. Ketok’e perawan

Don’t cry for me, Argentina (Madonna) :
………… .. Ojo nangis, Sragen

Billy Jean (Michael Jackson) :
………… .. Tuku clono Levis

Black & white (Michael Jackson) :
………… .. Catur

Killing me softly (Roberta Flack) :
………… .. Di-ithik-ithik sak-modar’e

Release me (Engelbert Humperdinck) :
………… .. Cul’na aku

My way (Frank Sinatra) :
………… .. Sak-karepku

I don’t like to sleep alone (Paul Anka) :
………… .. Kelon-ana aku

Fragile (Sting) :
………… .. Semprong

Hands clean (Alanis Morissette) :
………… .. Bar Wisuh

Believe (Cher) :
………… .. Percoyo

I still believe (Brenda K Star) :
………… .. Ngengkelan

Shy guy (Diana King) :
………… .. Clingus

Wild woman (Michael Learns to Rock) :
………… .. Morotuwo

Torn (Natallie Imbruglia) :
………… .. Suwek

Don’t speak (No Doubt) :
………… .. Meneng’a wae

La copa de la via (Ricky Martin) :
………… .. Ayo bal-balan

Something stupid (R William & Nicole Kidman):
………… .. nggobloki

Kiss me (Sixpence None The Richer) :
………… .. Kismis

Viva forever (Spice Girls) :
………… .. Ketagihan wedak Viva

Uptown girl (Westlife) :
………… .. Wong wedok nggunung

Don’t stop me now (Queen) :
………… .. Ojo Nggandoli

Bohemian rhapsody (Queen) :
………… .. Bu Hemi nge’Rap’

We will rock you (Queen) :
………… .. Balang2an watu

Always (Bon Jovi) :
………… .. Mesti ngono

Bed of roses (Bon Jovi) :
………… .. Peti mati

Alone (Heart) :
………… .. Ijen (album ‘Kendel tenan’)

Self control (Laura Branigan):
………… .. Poso

Warrior (Pat Benatar) :
………… .. Sepatu basket

The temple of the king (Rainbow) :
………… .. Candi Raja

Sailing (Rod Stewart) :
………… .. Iseh Eling (ora edan)

Jump (Van Halen) :
………… .. Njondil (album ‘Kaget’)

Almost unreal (Roxette) :
………… .. Ora umum

Black magic woman (Santana) :
………… .. Mak Lampir

Smooth (Santana) :
………… .. Lunyu (album ‘Kepleset’)

Always somewhere (Scorpion) :
………… .. Ngluyur terus

Still loving you (Scorpion) :
………… .. Gak duwe isin

So young (The Corrs) :
………… .. Bocah SD

After all (Al Jarreau) :
………… .. Entek2an

Forever young (Alphaville) :
………… .. Awet enom

Woman in love (Barbra Streisand) :
………… .. Suminten edan

Mandy (Barry Manilow) :
………… .. Adus

Suddenly (Billy Ocean) :
………… .. Mak-jegagik / uJUG uJUG

If (Bread)
………… .. Umpama

My heart will go on (Celine Dion) :
………… .. Loro hepatitis

The prayer (Andrea Bocelli & Celine Dion) :
………… .. Mbah Modin

I’ve never been to me (Charlene) :
………… .. Ora pernah kenal Tomi

Hard to say I’m sorry (Chicago) :
………… .. Kisinan

Zombie (Cranberries) :
………… .. Gendruwo

Boulevard (Dan Byrd) :
………… .. Dalan gede

Lady Valentine (David Gates) :
………… .. Putri Solo

Emotion (Destiny’s Child) :
………… .. Muntab

If we hold on together (Diana Ross) :
………… .. Umpamane gandengan tangan

It’s you (Dionne W & Stevie W) :
………… .. Kurang ajar – ngaget-ngageti

Hotel California (Eagles) :
………… .. Losmen Kali Pepe

Big big world (Emilia) :
………… .. Donya’ne gedhe banget

In your eyes (George Benson) :
………… .. Mecicil

Careless whisper (George Michael) :
………… .. Seneng rasan2

All I am (Heatwave) :
………… .. Serakah

I don’t have the heart (James Ingram) :
………… .. Rempela thok

Just once (James Ingram) :
………… .. Sepisan wae

Beautiful girl (Jose Mari Chan) :
………… .. Cah ayu

To all the girls I loved before (Julio Iglesias) :
………… .. Kanggo randha-randhaku

Dust in the wind (Kansas) :
………… .. Lesus nggawa bledug

Pretty boy (M2M) :
………… .. Banci

Smile again (Manhatan Transfer) :
………… ..Ayo ngguyu (Waljinah)

Paint my love (Michael Learns to Rock) :
………… .. Ngecet omahe pacar

I’ll be here waiting for you (Richard Marx) :
………… .. Dak-cegat nyang kene

Become 1 (Spice Girls) :
………… .. Ilang siji

Babe (Styx) :
………… .. Maratuwa (Betawi)

Mermaid (Tatsuro Yamashita) :
………… .. Iwak ayu

Lea (Toto) :
………… .. Liyo (ora podo)

Just the way you are (Billy Joel) :
………… .. Sak-karepmu

Smoke gets in your eyes (jazz) :
………… .. Kakehan ngrokok

Long train running (Doobie W) :
………… .. Kepancal Sepur

All blues (George Benson) :
………… .. Kelunturan (biru kabeh)

O Danny boy (tradisional Irlandia) :
………… .. Jebul’e anake Dani!

Blueberry hill (Louis Armstrong):
………… .. Gunung Pare

Another clown (Leon) :
………… .. wong DPR

Me and you and dog named Boo
………… .. Aku ambek koen dicokot kirik

A woman and a man are involved in
a car accident. It’s a bad one. Both of
their cars are totally demolished but
amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man,
that’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s
nothing left but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from
God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace
for the rest of our days.”

The man replied, “I agree with you completely.
This must be a sign from God!

The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another
miracle… My car is completely demolished but this bottle
of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this
wine and celebrate our good fortune.”

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man shakes his head
in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then
hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle,
immediately puts the cap back on,
and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”

The woman replies,
“No, I think I’ll just wait for the police…”

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

********

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

********

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need.

********

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

********

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

********

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

********

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

********

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

********

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED (for Kane)

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, p oki ng me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next.” They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

********